Combating Financial Problems in Marriage: Cheap can be Cheery

It is well known that monetary strain and money problems leads to a lot of marital conflict and is one of the leading causes of divorce. Forbes states, "Foolishly spending money is the number one financial cause for divorce." This means that this problem needs some of the most attention. The question we should be asking is, "How can my spouse and I combat financial problems together effectively?" Marvin J. Ashton's pamphlet "One for the Money: Guide to Family Finance" gives five suggestions that I recommend every couple and family implement in their lives. Below are a few that have been helpful in my marriage. 

1. Create and Stick to a Budget

This is one of the best pieces of marriage advice I received before I got married. The first place to start is to create/find a budget template. There are many budget templates online, but Kyle and I decided to create our own on an Excel sheet that is more custom to us. It is important that when you and your spouse create your budget, that your individual needs and goals are being considered. This can help reduce the contention and frustrations surrounding your budget. Creating a budget is the easy part, but sticking to one is harder.  Remember that your budget needs to be realistic and help you live financially stable. Along with your budget, you and your spouse need to have routine budget check-in meetings. This is an essential step to following your budget and can foster great financial discussions with your spouse.

2. Saving is Essential

This is one of the best tools to help limit financial stress. I suggest saving a certain percent of your pay check first before determining what you have left to spend. There are many accidents and unforeseen circumstances that will arise throughout your marriage (complications during childbirth can rack up a bill of over $50,000 very quickly), and having a fairly large savings can be such a relief. Tip: Just because you have $5,000 in savings does not mean that you have to spend it. I have learned that the more money I have in savings the more at peace I feel. I know that when I prepare myself financially that I will be blessed in the future. It is important to create a saving's strategy with your spouse so you can both be on the same page with your finances. This idea can help you and your spouse be less stressed when monetary difficulties come your way and can greatly help reduce contention. 

3. Pay a full Tithe

This is a principle that many couples can struggle with. I remember as a kid learning this principle and thinking that a dime out of my dollar was a lot. I laugh at that now! Though it may seem like a sacrifice, we are promised blessings. "The payment of tithing is a commandment, a commandment with a promise." These blessings can include good heath, relationships, and financial stability. This is one financial principle, that when followed consistently, will have an eternal impact. 

Rich Avery for SeedTime talks about 7 simple rules to stop fighting about money and his first one is to be generous givers. He recounts that paying tithing brought him and his spouse closer together. I know this principle is true because I have seen it in my life. As Kyle and I faithfully pay our tithing, we find that we can make better monetary decisions with what money we have left after tithing. 

4. Be Honest about your Finances

For financial success in your marriage, you and your spouse need to be honest with each other about your money and where it is going. As a couple, you cannot accurately plan your finances if you aren't being honest and realistic with one another. You are honest with finances when you openly talk about financial difficulties and not hide money from one another.  One step that my husband and I have taken to be more honest about our finances together, is we created a joint bank account that we both have access to. It allows both of us to see where we are spending our money and opens up great discussion. Honesty is essential to every aspect of marriage, not just finances.

If you and your spouse are facing serious money problems I suggest going to see your bishop or a financial adviser. Facing financial difficulties are hard but as you rely on the Lord and work together with your spouse you can be blessed. For more advice Nurturing Marriage has an entire section dedicated to combating finances as a couple. There are many great articles that have helped me along this new path in my marriage. By following these few simple steps, you and your spouse can reduce contention surrounding monetary issues.