Love, Dating, and Flirting

Oneness in Marriage

I am dating while being married. Even though I am married, I am still dating my spouse. I also flirt with him too! In light of the upcoming Valentines day, I wanted to share my thoughts about love, dating, and flirting with your spouse.

1. Show Love           Daily

And yes, I mean daily. This may sound obvious, but life gets busy. Time flies by, work gets harder, and kids come into the picture. Showing love to your spouse becomes harder, but is essential to keeping alive that love that was blooming at the first of your marriage. When I first got married, life was pretty easy (partially because it was the end of summer break). When school started, life definitely got busier, and it seems that the longer I am married the busier it gets. I like to take a few moments of each day to let my husband know how I feel about him and my gratitude for him. It's not easy, but I know that if I don't do these things now our love will wilt away. 

It is important to take time to express love to your spouse. This doesn't need to be a grand gesture with a marching band and exhaust writing from a plane. The small things and gestures are sometimes the most effective. There are many ways to show your spouse how much you love and care for them. Here are a few ideas:

a.     Tell them "I Love You"
b.     Leave them a note sharing your love
c.     Kiss them spontaneously
d.     Serve them
e.     Initiate intimacy
f.      Pray for your spouse with your spouse
g.     Take them on a date
h.     Flirt with them
i.      Treat them to a great night out

These are just a few that I have tried, but the list could go on forever. To find more suggestions, check out an additional 50 ideas here. Also, below is a video from the Mormon Channel with advice from a few couples discussing the ways that they express love to one another.

2. Date your Spouse

Once you get married, keep dating! Just because you are no longer in the game of pursuing an eternal companion, does not mean that your relationship can just coast along. Dating is how your love for one another began, and it is the same in marriage to keep it growing. Dating is a chance to spend quality time with your spouse. It gives you, as a couple, the chance to get to know each other even deeper. I have learned many new things about my husband when we are able to go and do something new together. It fosters great conversations and creates lasting memories.

Dates don't have to cost a lot or take a lot of time. My husband and I have had dates where we clean the house and reward ourselves with Costa Vida or Panda Express (which are our all-time favorite restaurants). Our dates can be a trip to Walmart or a walk around the block. Dates are what you and your spouse make of them. Find out what Nurturing Marriage says on why you should still ask your spouse out on dates here. 

Dates can be planned or spontaneous. Trying to figure out new and fun date ideas can be difficult, but The Dating Divas have so many great ideas for any type of date. From occasions to themes, they have it all. To check them out, go to their website here or their Pinterest page here. 

"Husbands and wives who no longer laugh and play together are losing their fondness for each other and perhaps even their capacity to stay together. True love includes a joyful, almost childlike quality." - Hugh W. Pinnock

3. Flirting isn't just for Single people

You flirt to get someone's attention, right? Even though you are married, at times you still need to get the attention of your spouse. Flirting can be a great way to show your spouse your love for them. It makes your spouse feel pursued and desired, even though they have already been 'caught'. This is a great way to keep that spark alive that you felt before you were married. 
Here are a few ideas on how to flirt with your spouse:

a.     Send a cute text about how you feel
b.     Wink from across the room
d.     Play footsies (in a public place)
e.     Plant a spontaneous kiss on their lips
f.      Send a flirty pic of yourself to them
g.     Take advantage of a red stop light
h.     Write a cute message on the mirror/shower
i.      Make a bet with kisses as the reward
j.      Create sexy pet names for each other

If you have any other suggestions be sure to comment below.

Marriage is hard work. By following these three pieces of advice, your relationship 'flower' can stay in full bloom and grow even more beautiful. This Valentines Day, or every day really, show your spouse how much you love and appreciate them through the small and simple gestures listed above.